Harden the f@#$ up Colorado

Who cares if there are a few snow flurries and freezing temperatures? Yesterday was supposed to be the day of the Koppenberg road race, but it was canceled when a bunch of whiny juniors complained that their brakes didn't work... Sissies, you don't need brakes! Brakes are for slowing down! It's a race, you're supposed to go faster! Drink some piss 'n' vinegar and harden the fuck up!

Ok, well maybe they had a point... But I had a point too! I showed up ready to prove my point in muddy, miserable conditions! May the best man win! Or, may the guy with the cross bike win... which probably would have been the case. Oh well, it sounds like they are just going to postpone the race until next month.

If they had waited an hour or two to start the races the course and weather would have been fine. I went out and rode the course in the early afternoon and it was great! It was that firm moist hard packed dirt which is actually better riding than the typical loose dry stuff.

Generally speaking, the weather has been total shit the past few days. But somehow I've managed to talk myself into chamoising up even when I see the snow coming down, and every time I get out on the bike it stops and the sun comes out. I guess I'm learning that it's your best bet to ride regardless of weather. If you're lucky it will clear up, and if not, hopefully you're prepared. Worst case scenario, you can always turn around and go home, knowing in your heart that you gave it a shot.

Bettini: Italian for DOPER!

Robeasto had a bummer day at the office last weekend. After staying at the front for the entire CU Crit, he faded in the final lap. Not that it was his fault. He certainly looked strong enough, but the girl calling out laps was about 5'1", a buck-five and was was about as loud as a cat meowing when she called out the laps. And the lap cards were barely bigger than 3x5 notecards. With a shit-show like that, it's not surprising that Robeasto (and others) missed her the whole race and didn't hear the bell lap. I'm really appalled at this. The organizers should be ashamed of themselves for not making it easier for my friends to win races...

Nonetheless, Robeasto, unlike myself, is showing some early season form on the bike. For what it's worth though, I can out-drink him any day. That's all my hard winter's work put to use.

I also grabbed a few good pics of him out near the front:


In other news, Paolo Bettini is whining that he's not in good enough shape to race this spring. I find it a little dubious that the reigning Olympic gold medalist and two-time world champion is unable to find his legs. Could something be astray?

Could it be that the new biological passport has interrupted his normal spring "training?" He's been implicated in several doping scandals in recent years and it sounds like there are very few in the peleton who believe he's clean.

So here's what I've been able to gather: Bettini--the single most outspoken critic of the biological passport and the man who told the UCI he would not sign an anti-doping contract--can't find his form after 15 years of racing at the top ranks of pro cycling and after he vowed three months ago to be in top form at the spring classics. I find it difficult to believe that a guy with that knind of experience and motivations would be so off form. Sounds like he missed a few trips to the doctor this spring. I wonder if the doping control efforts are finally weeding out a cheat or two.

All I have to say is thank Gad he's he's retiring at the end of the season. Good riddance. I say bring back the good old days of cycling!

Race Lessons

Any of the following should not be the reason that you don't win races.

1. Stay near the front, at all times. I can't stress this enough. Most importantly, staying up front helps you to avoid crashes. Staying near the front helps you to avoid the accordion effect of the pack and puts you in a good position to join a breakaway. However, don't take more than a fews pulls on the front, and if you do make sure you don't max out. The only crash I've been involved in happened near the back of the pack with a bunch of noobs.
   
2. Be prepared for a flat tire. Find out if there is a neutral wheel pit or if you need to bring your own. I loaned my rear wheel out before a race last year because I thought there would be a neutral wheel pit, to my surprise there was not, and over course, I got a flat.
   
3. Pay attention to the lap counter. Make a conscious effort to find out if the final laps have been announced in a criterium. A few years ago I made the mistake of sprinting for the finish on the second to last lap, needless to say I didn't win the sprint on the next lap. Vice versa, don't miss the final sprint like I did today. I didn't even know the final laps had begun and next thing I know I see some guy ahead of me throwing his hands up in glee.
   
4. Double, triple, quadruple check the start time. Make sure you know exactly when the race will start. Find out if they are ahead of schedule or behind schedule. Chris and I made this mistake last year. We missed our start time by either exactly 5 minutes or 10 minutes. You never make this mistake twice.
   
5. Don't crash in a TT. That just shouldn't happen, especially if the road is straight and dry. But it can... I know.
6. Time your sprint. Simple as that. Don't sprint too early and don't wait until it's too late. Don't sprint with 1km to go unless you know you can; I'm notorious for this one. Don't wait until the final 400m to get into position because you'll burn all your energy before the final sprint.
   
7. More to come... but hopefully not too many.
   

Newsflash...

...this just in: Slipstream in the Tour day France.

Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice

Oh yeah...

Gots me a new rig: 29 inches of pure, colorful, chaotic hell.

It's a total freak bike. Got some huge, huge 29 x 2.4 tires, full 27-speed drivetrain compatibility, and even a custom pink paint job on the crank arms.

I named it Beetlejuice.



That's right I name my bikes. Beetlejuice joins Brutus, Karmina and SJ here at the Lazy S Ranch. I know I've got issues, but at least this bike did not sleep in the bed with me the first night I had it.

In other news, Milan-San Remo is finally here. The first spring classic of the year. Too bad Chrissmith is gonna be out of town. That lousy swine is the only person I know with cable. But evidently chasing senoritas around Argentina is more interesting than letting me crash his house, drink all his beer, and scream at his TV set like a boy-band groupie for the better part of an afternoon. How selfish of him.

Guess when I get my next bike built up, I'm not gonna let him ride it:




I'd also like to mention out that we at KOM have discovered a highly worthwhile blog. It strives to seamlessly integrate three greatest things in life into one elegant, concise package. Those three things are, of course, bikes, hot girls and hot girls who ride bikes. Despite the cheesey name--Doucheblog Cycling--this little corner of cyberspace is a treasure trove of delightful two-wheeled Betties and amusing bike-based banter. Check it out.

I'd love to write more. But let's face it, you really, really don't want me to type another word. And besides, it'll be karaoke night at Juanitas in a few short minutes. Gotta prime the old liver.

Paperrad: P-Unit-1
Paperrad: P-Unit-2
Paperrad: P-Unit-3
Paperrad: Lightning Bolt video
How to get fast... I mean, waste time
Perhaps, the best music video ever
Happy Birthday Fabian Cancellara
There's no end to it...

ew... snow

Happy St. Patrick's Day
Happy Birthday Vassili Davidenko

A view from my hibernation chamber

Conquering Sanitas!

What do you do with your free time?

KOM Riding Schedule

March 16

• In the words of Spencer Sator, holy steep climb, Batman!
• Wear a helmet! Just ask Jonny about his weekend staples after the Logic ride.
  
• Today, happy birthday to Neal Rogers, and thanks for the awesome party last night.
• Wow... thanks Fred.
  

KOM Links

• Eerie? Broomfield? Eerie? Make up your minds!
  
• Boulder Roubaix and Stazio crits canceled or rescheduled
• One more reason to complain about cars and the police
• Cool new site
• If only there were fewer coffee shops and bike stores in Boulder...
• In case of extra time and energy
• Powerthirst energy drink
  
• Rocket Edition Powerthirst
  

A Good Ride, Finally

Good weather + strong legs = awesome day!

Chris, Spencer, and I met at the North Boulder Spruce Confections as usual. I just replaced the batteries in my computer so I was pretty excited to watch my speed and cadence all day. Whilst drinking my Florentine with extra whipped cream Mr. Serbia rode up to get some post-ride sugar. We chatted for a bit and began the ride.

From the get-go I was feeling super good, which was a pleasant surprise. I've felt pretty bad for about two weeks now. I've been wrestling with posterior tendonitis in my knee, which I think has finally calmed down. As a result I've been intentionally riding easy, which has become quite boring. Yes, riding hard is fun when you feel good. We were riding between 23 and 30 mph all the way to Hygiene and it felt relatively effortless.

We parted ways with Spencer when we turned north 83rd, he continued along Woodland Rd; he was supposedly on a "lunch ride" from work. Chris and I continued to Carter. When we got to the dam climb I did my best to stay seated, felt pretty good. It's a good view once you're on top, kind of like 007.

It came as an unpleasant surprise to find that they shut off the water fountains in the winter, but we should have expected that. We refilled and snacked at the general store/ house thing. The descent down the backside was fast as usual and that right turn at the bottom is always fun to rip around. When we came to the T we turned left towards Pinewood mountain. I forgot how hard that climb is. In a way it's perfect; lots of corners, steep with a few flat spots, and not too long. One of these days I'd like to keep going after the summit and see what else there is.

The descent back down Pinewood was awesome as usual. I passed a pickup truck and a motorcycle that seemed to be moving backwards. I had a few close calls though. My back tire went into a skid at one point and I could have sworn my front tire was skidding around one of the corners. Super fun!

Long ride home into a head wind. Energy was good though, didn't need to eat very much all day. Stopped in Hygiene for a Coke. Rode into town still with tons of energy, stopped to get a mocha so that I could have a second half to the day.

Movie Review: Tour Baby Deux

two thumbs way down

I would not recommend Tour Baby 1 or 2 to anyone. While I was at the Tour of California I won the DVD in a little stationary bike race. At first I was pretty excited—I had never owned a cycling film before and I avoided paying the $30 that it originally sold for. Little did I know, I had accepted a gift that would decrease my quality of life.

First off, Scott Coady is a total twat. I don’t know what his background is, but either he is totally loaded, or he put a lot of somebody else’s money to waste. Through out the film he is given some sort of VIP treatment that was obviously reserved for the highest bidder. Instead of capturing beautiful images or worthwhile documentary footage, he uses a low quality camera and spends too much time focusing on random, scantily clad girls with pretty faces. In addition, he has this weird sort of sexual catch phrase that he uses through out the duration of the film. He says something like, “We are going to go deep inside the Tour de France, baby.” It’s obvious, through his language and content that he’s trying to create some sort of Girls Gone Wild/ Spring Break ’08 reality flick. The end result is shaky cinematography, lame one-liners, and dozens of awkward female interactions.

Worst of all, you have to look at Scott Chodey’s soul patch-goatee flavor saver for 97 whole minutes.

New and Improved!

Welcome, again! This is the new and improved Boulder Bike Rides blog, now under the way cooler name "The Kings of Metal."

What's new?

• The Kings of Metal name, which has been floating around our group of friends for awhile, originally spawned from the Manowar album. Why metal and why Manowar? Well, because metal rules and Manowar often sings about "wheels of fire" and other glorious things.
  

• The look and feel. I got rid of the old blogspot look and replaced it with a more sophisticated one.

• Last, and most awesome of all... The new Kings of Metal blog has numerous authors! So you don't have to listen to the rants and raves of just me, you now get it from about six pissed cyclists.

What's old?

• We will still be posting rides in the "next ride" section, which you are welcome to attend.
  

• You can still read about what kind of rides we're doing and see photos of our horrific faces. Once again, even better, there will be a broader source of material, not just my crap.
  

• And, we will be continually improving the routes, links, and resource lists, just for you.

Enjoy!

The Knee Scene

by Robbie

Cycling is often prescribed as an alternative to other athletic ventures, such as running. The reason for this is that cycling is a low impact sport. However, the repetitive motions of cycling amplify stress to the body that would normally be negligible.

For example, let's say you go on a ride that lasts two hours, and your average cadence is 90 revolutions per minute. That means you did 10,800 pedal strokes... A four-hour ride at an average cadence of 90 rpm's would mean that you initiated 21,600 pedal strokes. Now imagine that for some reason you didn't quite put the cleat of your pedal onto your right shoe correctly; let's say that it is off of zero by 5 degrees. You might not notice this mistake instantly because we are hardly ever in perfect anatomical position. We move every-which-way on a daily basis and our bodies seem to take it just fine. But when we force a series of joints into an awkward, immovable position and load it with stress repeatedly, about 11,000 "reps," cartilage, tendons, ligaments, and muscles may become irritated.

Yes, we can adapt to unusual positions, that’s the nature of the beast for cyclists—for competitive cyclists it's all about adapting to the most aerodynamic position without sacrificing power or causing injury. There is a difference; with a screwy cleat the joint is being stressed, and with the cycling position muscle is being used in a new way. Soft-tissue does a much better job of adapting to new stress because it has a much greater range of motion and is generally unaffected by slight abnormalities in movement. When muscle doesn't adapt, we are usually informed quickly in the form of a strain or a tear of the muscle. These injuries are extremely rare in cycling, but are possible.

So who cares if a knee or a hip gets a little irritated? The knee and hip might only care for a few days, or however long it takes to recover. The real trouble begins when the damaged tissue is not given time to mend before it is stressed again. An injury of this sort is usually referred to as a "chronic injury," and will continue to be a pain until it is given some undivided attention.

These nagging injuries should be given priority if they ever flare up. If they are not treated promptly, they can become more severe and more difficult to cure. More pain from a nagging injury usually means that it is being damaged even more, which causes it to swell. Generally speaking, the longer a chronic injury causes pain, the longer it will take to remedy the problem. Vice versa, the sooner you address a problem, the sooner it will be remedied.

So how can you avoid a cycling-induced chronic knee injury? Listed below are some things that you should take into consideration if you plan to increase your weekly hours and would like to avoid knee injury:

1. If it hurts, stop. This is the most obvious rule in the book. If you feel any sort of nagging in your knee, take it easy. You might not have to stop entirely, but you should definitely lower your intensity and increase your rpm's. Nine times out of 10 the problem is tendonitis, which can easily be treated.

2. Make sure your bike fits properly. Adjust the fore-aft position of your seat if necessary. Triple check the height of your seat; make sure your knees are given enough room to extend as well as not too much. Make sure your seat isn’t tilted forward or backward. Generally speaking, if the front of your knee hurts, your seat is too low, your seat is too far forward, or your cleats are too close to your toe; if the back of your knee hurts, your seat is too high, your seat is too far back, or your cleats are placed too far away from your toes. If your knees hurt medially or laterally, try positioning your cleat to one side or the other. Etc... Read all you can about bike fitting, it seems to be endlessly fascinating.

3. Check your cleats, make sure they are centered and line up with the inside ball of your foot. I recommend Speedplay pedals because they offer tons of low-resistance float.

4. Be smart about your approach to riding/training. You can get away with riding for three hours once a week with your friends, but most people can’t get away with getting off the couch or from behind the desk and expect to ride 15 to 20 hours per week without encountering problems. In the “off season,” do your best to stay active; commute via bicycle if possible, go to the gym, run, if you must. Build your weekly hours slowly and wait to build your intensity until you’re sure you have fully adapted to the demands of cycling.

5. Flexibility. We all probably have room for more flexibility. I know that it’s hard to be consistent with this one but it is highly beneficial. Signing up for a yoga class can help, but what it really comes down to is being consistent. You won’t gain flexibility by stretching a certain muscle group for one minute every Monday and Wednesday in your yoga class. Beyond helping to prevent injury, stretching will also help your performance on the bike. It’s said that being inflexible can sometimes help with sprinting, but at the same time, flexibility will save you energy in the long term because you won’t be fighting your own biomechanics. I’m willing to bet that the best time trialists in the world also have very flexible hamstrings.

6. Spinning versus pushing. Pedals are meant to be spun, not pushed. Especially in the early season, do your best to focus on a high cadence, this should help prevent any early season strains, and it will also make your heart stronger. Generally speaking, physical therapists will suggest spinning on the flats to help cure tendonitis. Climbing or sprinting too early in the season can be problematic because your tendons might not be prepared. Spinning can be helpful and hurtful, but mostly helpful. It can be harmful if you aren’t used to it; I’ve been guilty of focusing more on spinning than going fast and then wonder why I can’t keep up. Vice versa, it’s easier to match the accelerations of the pack when you’re spinning, and I promise you that you can sprint much faster when you aren’t in your 53-11.